Top Ten Amusing Things Homeowners Say

I frequently get calls from homeowners that just make me want to laugh. This is a compilation of some comments. Management comments are in Italics.

1. I called for service on the master antenna a week ago, why isn't it fixed yet? Ma'am, it is January and there has been ice on the roof for a month.
2. Can you make my neighbors stop opening and closing their garage door?
3. Why isn't the outdoor pool open? I'm sorry Ma'am. It's storming outside right now.
4. Make the landscapers stop using their noisy equipment. I work third shift and I'm trying to sleep.
5. I have moved my car from the driveway. You can come back and plow the snow now. (three days after the last snowfall)
6. When are they going to plow my driveway? I have a meeting at 4pm. It's 9am now and the plows are out there, so I'm sure you will be able to make your meeting.
7. Call the roofer, there's water coming in through my ceiling. What floor do you live on? I live on the first floor of a three story building.
8. Send someone to break off the icicles that have formed on the gutters.
9. I saw a really big Rat! (outside my suburban home) Sir, I can call the animal control company, but the first thing they will ask me is "are you sure it's not an opossum? (dead silence. This has happened more than once and we always agree that they will wait until they see it again and if it really is a rat, they will call me back. They never do.)
10. The gutters you just installed on my building are preventing my flowers from getting water. Can you punch holes in them so they water the flowers? There is no response to this.